


and you may ask yourself, well, how did i get here?

by flydunes



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Bending (Avatar TV), Dealing With Trauma, F/F, Fuck Ozai (Avatar), Gen, Happy Ending, I Really Like Exploring The Aftermath of Trauma: The Fanfiction, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse, Past Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Pre-Relationship, Self-Doubt, Zuko is a Softie, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, but also dealing with trust issues and commitment fears, in the most platonic way ever, sokka's only in it for a hot second this is mostly just zuko gushing over the idea of sokka, this fic doesn't dive too heavily into dark themes but they are discussed, zukka have been on a few dates and are considering making it official
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28070568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flydunes/pseuds/flydunes
Summary: zuko isn’t freaking out. no, not at all. in fact, he’s so not freaking out that he absolutely isn’t hyperventilating on his bedroom floor debating on whether or not he needs to cancel his upcoming date.his upcoming date with one of the smartest, hottest and most downright brilliant men he’s ever met. there are so many adjectives that describe sokka but zuko’s currently panicking gremlin brain can’t find them without him descending into an even worse freak-out. they’ve already been on five damn dates, why is he still panicking about this? he didn’t even react this bad before their first date, but of course that’s before he had met sokka in-person for the first time and zuko hadn’t immediately fallen deeply, inconceivably in love as soon as he had laid eyes on him.--things between sokka and zuko are starting to look pretty serious, and zuko's starting to freak out about it.
Relationships: Mai & Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Ty Lee & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 59
Collections: ATLA Winter Solstice 2020





	and you may ask yourself, well, how did i get here?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [oldpapertowns](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oldpapertowns/gifts).



> this one goes out to oldpapertowns - happy winter solstice! i really enjoyed writing this for you, even if i completely forgot to write it until literally 24 hours before it was due. whoops. but nonetheless, i really hope you like it! 
> 
> to anyone else that also happens to be reading this, enjoy! the atla winter solstice has been an awesome fandom event, and i really appreciate the effort put into this by the mods. running an event like this is no small task, so great job to you guys, and a great job to the other writers of the exchange! i hope you all enjoy your gifts.

zuko isn’t freaking out. no, not at all. in fact, he’s so _not_ freaking out that he absolutely isn’t hyperventilating on his bedroom floor debating on whether or not he needs to cancel his upcoming date. 

his upcoming date with one of the smartest, hottest and most downright _brilliant_ men he’s ever met. there are so many adjectives that describe sokka but zuko’s currently panicking gremlin brain can’t find them without him descending into an even worse freak-out. they’ve already been on _five damn dates_ , why is he still panicking about this? he didn’t even react this bad before their first date, but of course that’s before he had met sokka in-person for the first time and zuko hadn’t immediately fallen deeply, inconceivably in love as soon as he had laid eyes on him. 

zuko pulls his head out of his panicking ass for one second in a moment of divine clarity; the end-all, be-all response to his current “hot boy”-induced panic attack:

call mai. 

she’s the perfect amount of tough, caring and sarcasm that he needs right now. no one has ever pulled him out of a panic attack better than mai. she’ll know what to do.

zuko crawls to his bed, grabs at his phone, and calls mai. 

she picks up on the second ring. bless this girl.

“don’t you have a date to be at in forty minutes?” comes her raspy voice from the other end of the phone line. zuko takes a deep breath.

“maybe?” he squeaks. yeah, sound like a prepubescent boy, good one. “i’m kind of freaking out.”

“why? you said your last date went really well, why are you panicking now?” she asks, and zuko can hear the faux-exasperation in her voice. 

“we were texting yesterday, and, well, i don’t know. sokka seemed to be dropping a lot of hints that he wants things to be pretty serious,” zuko says, and he hears mai’s fond sigh. 

“were you reciprocating?”

“yeah, why wouldn’t i? i really like him, i’d love for us to make things exclusive, maybe.”

“zuko, why are you scared? you like him, you want to make things permanent, you have literally no reason to freak out,” mai says patiently, and zuko has to take a deep breath in. 

“i don’t know why i’m so scared, mai,” he almost whispers. zuko hears a rustling over the phone, and a jingle of keys. “wait, are you coming over?”

“obviously. you need me right now.” there’s a slight pause and vague silence, and then mai speaks again, slightly quieter as she holds her phone away from her face. “ty lee, zuko needs a pep talk about his date, wanna come?”

there’s a small exclamation, and, strangely enough, the jingle of a bell as ty lee comes into hearing range. “zuko! you’re gonna be okay! it’s gonna go great!”

“thanks, ty lee,” zuko replies, finding a small smile on his face in spite of himself.

“i’ll see you soon, zuko,” mai says, and then the phone line goes dead. 

zuko puts his phone down and leans his head back against his bed. why _was_ he scared? he and sokka get along great – sokka wouldn’t drop hints that he wants to be exclusive if he didn’t like zuko – so realistically, he has nothing to be scared of.

but there's something in his brain, and it's probably the "result of childhood trauma" that his therapist was talking about, that makes him doubt everything.

_what if sokka's just trying to trip you up, catch you when you think you trust him_ , a voice in the back of his brain that sounds suspiciously like his father hisses, _he will take you down_.

fuck, okay, zuko needs to shut down that part of his brain right now, and also maybe (definitely) reaffirm that sokka isn’t taking advantage of him.

zuko unlocks his phone and goes straight to his and sokka's snapchat messages. sokka uses a lot of emojis, and entirely too many exclamation points, but he seems genuine. he just seems... excited. like, all the time. like he legitimately really likes zuko. he even said, at three in the morning on a tuesday, that he really likes zuko, with three blue heart emojis and a kissy face. zuko feels a warm rush all over his body, and shivers.

sokka’s just so nice, and polite, and lovely, and willing to take things at zuko’s pace, and zuko really couldn’t ask for a nicer date. he’s pretty sure if sokka asked zuko to marry him at their date tonight, he’d say yes on the spot. 

if only his brain would get over this irrational fear first. 

zuko is suddenly brought out of his thoughts by a sharp knock on the front door, and holy shit how fast did mai drive to get to his apartment so quickly?

he gets up, groaning as he stretches his shoulders, and opens the door. 

“alright, come on, let’s get you in front of a mirror,” is the first thing mai says before she holds onto his arm and drags him back into his bedroom. 

“wait, it’s messy–”

“zuko, i’ve seen your ass. i don’t care.”

zuko looks back at his front door, which ty lee is closing. she grins at zuko, and he notices the source of the weird bell noise as a scrunchie with a cat bell attached holding the end of her braid. he briefly considers asking to borrow it. 

“hi,” she says, and bounces to his side. “mai said i can get you all dressed up.”

“nothing too peppy please,” zuko says, “i don’t want sokka to get creeped out if i come dressed to the nines.”

ty lee rolls her eyes with a grin as she walks into zuko’s bedroom. then she stops, with her hands on her hips, at the door. 

“zuko, honey,” she starts, “why are all the clothes on your floor ugly button-ups and jeans?”

zuko looks to mai for support, but her eyebrow is raised at him. she wants to know too. “um. i was going to wear a combination of the sort?” he offers, and ty lee tuts before striding through the mess of clothes on the floor and opening his wardrobe. 

mai steers zuko over to his bed. “zuko. tell me something you like about yourself.”

“oh, no, mai, it’s not that i’m doubting myself, i just–”

“tell me something you like about yourself,” mai presses, and zuko looks away. 

“my hair’s very soft today,” he says, “maybe sokka will like it.”

“not ‘maybe’, babe,” ty lee pipes up from where she’s holding a pair of ripped jeans and a mesh crop top that zuko wore to pride exactly once and never will again. “he will. like, for sure. you’ve got nicer hair than me, i’m so jealous.” 

“i’m not wearing mesh, we’re going to a fancy restaurant downtown,” zuko says, before mai holds his face and turns it so that he’s looking at her. 

“what do you like about this guy?” she asks. 

zuko gulps. “he’s really cute. And smart. And he’s a mechanical engineer, and has mechanical engineer arms. he’s really nice, and he cares, and–”

“okay, we get it, you love him,” ty lee chides gently, now holding up a pair of slacks. zuko feels himself go really red. 

“i–”

“before you try to say otherwise, you are so whipped,” mai says. she clears her throat. “you’re scared because you think sokka will hurt you.”

“uh–”

“and you want to be able to trust him but your crippling anxiety and trust issues prevent you from being able to see that you are deserving of love with no strings attached.”

damn, mai. 

“zuko, it’s okay,” mai says, very softly. “you’re allowed to want things for yourself.”

“i know,” he replies. “i just… father isn’t letting me.”

“your father is rotting in jail where he belongs,” mai affirms, “and he can’t control you anymore. don’t let his toxicity get into your head. you want this with sokka. let yourself have this.”

“yeah,” zuko sighs, before running his hand through his hair. “alright. I think i’m okay. thanks, mai. i owe you.”

“call me when your date is done and let me know how it went and i’ll consider us even,” mai replies. “ty lee, you done getting an outfit?”

“almost!” ty lee replies, holding out a dark wine turtleneck and a button-up in almost the exact same colour. “you own so much red, zuko. it suits you, but wow.”

“don’t make him wear the turtleneck, he’ll look like a millionaire,” mai suggests. 

“sokka said he’s against capitalism,” is all zuko can say as ty lee crosses over to him with the button-up and dark-wash jeans. “didn’t you criticise me wearing a button-up and jeans when you walked in?”

“if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. this particular combination is nice. not those weird floral prints you were looking at,” ty lee says, before taking out a pair of dangly gold earrings from her pocket. “wear these. i’ve wanted to see you in these for, like, years.”

“she bought them specifically for you,” mai says, “so you’d better keep them and wear them a lot.”

“thanks,” zuko replies, taking the earrings. “can i change?”

mai and ty lee leave his bedroom and close his door with a soft snap, and zuko puts on ty lee’s special outfit, taking out his usual gold studs to replace them with the dangly earrings. he looks at himself in the mirror on his wall. he looks pretty normal, actually. it’s not like he was expecting a princess diaries transformation, but he couldn’t have looked a little taller, or more handsome, or something?

“you can come in,” he calls, and ty lee rushes back into his room. 

“tuck in your shirt, oh my goodness,” she says, diving back into his wardrobe to get his usual black boots out. he hurries to do so, and looks back up to see ty lee brandishing a belt.

“now this.”

zuko looks over to mai, who is leaning against the doorframe.

“do as she says, and nobody gets hurt,” she says simply. 

ty lee stalks around his body, making adjustments to his outfit, fixing the very 2014-pinterest messy bun his hair had been in since earlier that afternoon, and then stands back. zuko looks back into his mirror. 

he still looks like himself. 

“of course you still look like yourself, it’s not like ty lee came in with her sfx kit,” mai sighs, and zuko realises he voiced that out loud. “you look great. i think our work here is done, babe.”

“oh, yeah, absolutely,” ty lee grins, before kissing zuko on the cheek. “you’ll be fine. sokka already wants you for you, so don’t worry about a thing, okay?”

“now go get your man,” mai smiles.

–– 

things really couldn’t have gone any better, zuko thinks, as he lays with his face smooshed into sokka’s bare chest a few hours later. he owes mai and ty lee a thousand fancy dinners for this.

“i can hear you thinking, honey,” sokka groans sleepily, and zuko has to suppress his shiver at the rumble of sokka’s voice in his chest. “go to sleep, yeah?”

“yeah. sorry. g’night, sokka.”

“g’night, my darling handsome boyfriend.”

zuko smiles into sokka’s chest, and closes his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on [tumblr](https://flydunes.tumblr.com/), come say hi!


End file.
